. . . aaaaaaand then the shaving cream in your bathroom cupboard explodes.
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Male. Caucasian. Late twenties. Active, devout Mormon. Gay. Married to lovely woman. Introverted. Recent college grad. Public transit freak. Plays piano and composes in every spare minute. Republican. Corrects native Spanish speakers on their grammar. Has perfect pitch. Insomniac. Dermatillomaniac. Extremely anal-retentive. Fortunately, also pretty easygoing. Frequently sure he's figured out the universe. Often subsequently proven wrong.